THE "UGLY" STAGE
(For all the mothers and mothers-to-be out there)
So here I am at six and a half months after the birth of my identical twin girls. My hair has started to fall out in clumps, my finger nails are breaking like never before, my lower belly is wrinkled from the stretch of the skin, my ligne negro still showing above and below my belly button, my boobs are saggier when they are not filled with breast milk, my face looks tireder than ever before, I am about ten pounds overweight and my brain is less efficient.....
So why is it that I still feel confident and pretty satisfied with life?
This is what I call inner strength and beauty or wisdom as one gets older.
Truly, I look at myself in the mirror every morning and see little white hairs starting to show and wrinkles starting to form. I am approaching forty years old in a month. I think to myself, what a beautiful life I have led and even though I have had no sleep, I hardly have time to eat or I have completely lost time for myself, I can honestly say that I am the luckiest woman in the world because I have the foundations of life in tact.
Foundations of life. What is that? That is RELATIONSHIPS. (And I will come back to this word in a minute)
I used to put fashion and beauty and fitness on the top of my list of priorities. This is not to say that I don't care about those things anymore but they are just not as important. I don't feel unattractive when I walk out the house even though I have not done one thing to beautify myself. On the daily, I wear sweat pants, t-shirts that are not form fitting or that alluring and flip flops. I stick to the basic colors of black and navy blue and I almost never make an effort with my hair or put any make up on. So I ask myself, how come I can "let go" like this and still feel somewhat happy and beautiful? (I say "somewhat" because, just like any normal woman, there are moments, when I do have insecurities and think back to my body before baby or even body after just the first baby and reminisce. It is only normal to miss that young, fit and toned body but that was a different stage of life.)
I tell myself, right now it's not about me. Right now it's about enjoying my creations and these little beings that are so very cute and adorable, even when they are crying. I stay in the moment and appreciate every minute I get with my children. I have all the time in the world to sleep, or to go for facials or to go to the gym when they get a little bit older. But they are not going to be this little for long. My looks are not the only thing that makes me happy in life and you shouldn't let it rule your life either. Sure, we see these celebrities who bounce back in less than three months but that is their job, literally. You have to remember that. They may not be able to nurse which is another thing that I am very grateful to be able to do.
Be happy with who you are and what you have brought to the world. YOU did it. YOU are amazing for having carried a human being in your body and YOU are beautiful no matter what your weight or waist size. Do not compare yourself to other mothers who may have bounced back faster or still looks twenty (unless they really are still in their twenties!) They probably have other issues that they are dealing with and I am not saying this with sarcasm. Everyone has their struggles. Think positively about all the good things in your life and most importantly, learn to accept. Stay in the moment, be present to the beauty around you and wake up everyday to know that you are so fortunate to be chosen to be a woman who can bear a child.
Looks are not everything but this is not to say that you shouldn't take care of yourself and do what you need to do to feel beautiful and confident (maybe wear a pair of heels once in a while!) but if you choose to work on something that guarantees to make you happy, then work on your relationships, be it with yourself, with your spouse, with your children, with your mother or with your girlfriends. Those are the foundations of life that will make you truly happy.
Now, go call your mother! : ))